It hasn’t been a full week since Mom’s funeral service and Celebration of Life yet it feels a bit like a dream. The day held so many elements Mom had wished for, we truly took her lead, and it’s been an absolute gift to hear how effective the gathering was for many attendees. Unfortunately, the livestream feed had technical difficulties, but, thankfully, two other cameras were present to record most of the service. Sooner than later, we hope to post as much footage as possible from the church service. In the meantime, the Eulogy I shared at Hennepin Church, posted below, will help to provide a glimpse into both the service and Mom’s full life, one certainly Lived Out Loud.
- Wendy

Cheryl
Nonni 
Pistol
Schatzi
Stunning 
Cherish
Shirley, Queen of the Desert 
Tattoo Lover
Skit Performer 
Movie Marathoner 
Peanut Butter Addict
Grammar Corrector
High Heel Rocker
Ping Pong Champion
Thank You Note Writer
Demitasse Cup Master
Life Choices Advocator
Friend to Many, Best Friend to a Handful
Our mother

So many titles for one human's life. That was my mom, as she held high her diverse roles and passions over the course of her 76.5 years, here on earth. And while the hats she wore were varied, the one constant was the incomparable exuberance she placed in all she took on in her often "wild and precious life.” Thinking about all of mom’s unique qualities, the word I continue to fall upon is simply - awe. Mom found awe, this gobsmacked amazement, on a daily basis. Awe and wonderment ran through her entire life.  

While growing up in Manhasset, Long Island and St. Louis, Missouri, awe found its place with mom through music. While her brother played the trumpet and she the piano, their parents, Arthur and Helen, often entertained friends with two Steinway pianos in their homes, singing show tunes and playing to their heart's content. When Mom headed to the Baldwin Boarding School for high school, just outside of Philadelphia, her devotion to music continued while leading her class in song as the Student Head of Chorus or singing with her roommate, Wendy Hunter, “I’m In the Mood For Love”, on the dorm roof in between puffs of cigarettes. And while attending Wheelock College in Boston, Mom and her best college friend, Annie MacKay, would play duets on the piano while waiting for their dates, who later became their husbands. 

One of my first memories was Mom singing "The Way We Were" to me as over the years she identified a specific lullaby for each of her three children. As she and my father raised a family in Minneapolis, music was a constant force that filled her soul and daily life. Blasting tunes by 70’s artists such as Peter, Paul and Mary, Helen Reddy, and Barbara Streisand from the “stereo closet” while Living Room dancing after dinner was a weekly activity. Through sing-alongs on family car trips to visit the Longacres in Wisconsin, the Coopers in Omaha, or the Ottmans in Rockport, music found its place in our family's bones.

One of Mom’s favorite memories was playing the piano on Christmas night with a close group of friends and family all joined to carol. As a child, it was clear to me mom’s desire to sing out loud in public whether that be in the grocery aisle, fearlessly during church, or emotionally at a concert - moderation was never in sight. Of course in her later years, Mom would be the first to ask when we could start caroling at The Brown’s annual caroling parties, often leading the crowd with her joyous vocals.  

Mom also felt deep exhilaration while ringing handbells for 38 years here at Hennepin Church, being a founding member of the Hennepin Chime. When Mom could no longer read, write, drive, cook, or track conversations, she still found awe as she painted and danced to Chris Botti, her brushstrokes helping to release her creative energy.

It was music which brought mom strength after a divorce. When she decided to leave the marriage in Palm Desert, it was Sting playing in her U-Haul with a blow-up passenger by her side, and photos of her children on the dashboard that led her back to Minnesota.  Her ability to recognize a tune or melody was astounding - even after beginning VSED when she was not able to identify her own children - music ushered in the kind of emotion and awe that mom could always comprehend. 

We recently asked Mom to reflect on where she placed value in her life, and her answer was simply wherever she found awe. That was when she felt most alive. However, she said that "Birthing my children was at the very top of my moments of awe.” She saw her three children as the most significant thing she accomplished. Her unrestrained joy and her best work was to birth and raise her three children. And she was also so grateful for her 10 grandchildren. And it was she who requested more sleepovers and more trips to Disney World with her young people! 

Another form of awe for our mother was embracing Mother Nature. Whether it be hiking in Moab or walking the Camino de Santiago, embracing an Outward Bound adventure or skinny dipping in Ojibway Lake, she was enamored by nature. Mom believed in the Mystery of God as seen in nature, the WOW of it all would often bring her to tears. 

In nature, she also looked for and embraced the loved ones she had lost. She recognized her parents in the form of intimate robins that hovered around her immediately after their death in 1977. Decades later, when she returned to Rancho Bernardo to remember her life with her parents, an entire migration of robins came to greet her, making national news. 

The awe of Mom's deep connection with people was visceral, seen through her magnificent gift of caring for the homeless during dinners at Community Meals or calming a baby that needed comforting. She authentically engaged with others, was curious about their lives, their joys and pains. Mom was a teacher by nature. When I asked when she felt most alive, most like herself, she replied “Teaching children at Park Avenue Day School in New York.” Mom taught all ages throughout her career but she held a fondness for little children, especially "mushing up babies” as she liked to say. This was clear not only while holding her grandchildren but through the hundreds of children she nurtured anywhere, whether at the Blooma Daycare or in Africa on mission trips. 

Of course, people found their own awe in mom as well. Friends felt comfortable pouring their hearts out to her while she would listen with no judgment. Mom cared deeply for her friends. During a gathering for Mom last Fall, when guests were asked to stand if they believed themselves to be one of Mom’s best friends, half of the 30 women rose. And wonderfully, during VSED, we received hundreds and hundreds of emails, expressing adoration for Mama.  

In terms of awe of the unknown, Mom always stated before any loved one left for an adventure “go for the memorable and be safe!!” She shared this statement a few months ago while being interviewed for a podcast. The host asked mom if this was, indeed, her motto in life. Mom replied without missing a beat, “Absolutely!”. I laughed to myself. In many ways, mom was the complete opposite. Yes, she went for the memorable yet she was the biggest risk taker I have ever known. She loved sitting on the edge of the unexplored. 

For sure, mom lived life full on. For example, when it came to falling in love, she was 100% in. And once Mom met David, she never looked back. And thank god she didn’t! David, you were mom’s angel…

Another full on moment of her life was choosing to hike the Camino de Santiago alone in her late 60’s for weeks - the most physically challenging trip of her life. And when Mom heard of the option to VSED, she knew immediately, full on, that if she was ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, like her brother had been, that this was her track towards end-of-life. She wasn’t afraid.

Mom’s zest and awe for travel could not hold her down. She explored the globe, beginning in high school until the end of her life. The beauty of her traveling spirit was that she found the joy in scenarios others might not embrace. Mom didn’t hesitate to sleep in one of her children's college dorm rooms or a quirky hostel while hiking the Camino. Just three years ago, Mom jumped at the chance to sit in the middle of her two daughters in a U-Haul cab (which is technically not even a seat) while driving from Minneapolis to the Oregon Coast in just two days. Mom never complained once. She was in heaven at every turn, singing her lungs out with each daughter at her side.

Whether Mom was captured by the astounding music played at the Basilica, mesmerized by the words spoken by beautiful souls at Sacred Journey, enamored with her beloved David while traveling around the world, or holding her grandchildren just moments after they were born, Mom embraced the awe of life.

I’ll end with a favorite quote of mom's by Gregory Benford. "A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.” My mother embodied this quote. She could craft love from deep heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment and courage from failure. Mom had no regrets in her life as she felt every experience became a growth opportunity guiding her to the woman she was. I think she inspired everyone who knew her to do the same.

Recently I read to mom a “personal statement" she had written six years ago. At that time, her writing was beginning to show signs of Alzheimer's but her passion and focus were crystal clear. Mom had no recollection of writing these words but still stood by each one. She wrote, "I believe life’s journey is to come home to yourself in full truth and authenticity. I am a natural optimist. I believe in the resilience of the human condition and the human spirit. I believe that I loved and was loved, which is all that ultimately matters."

I like to think that Mom is all around us right now, listening to the words we’re saying about her today. So these final words I say directly to her:  

Cheryl, Nonni, Mama: You accomplished your life’s ambitions, and then some. You lived your life in full truth and as authentically as it comes. You were resilient and remained hopeful through the hardest of times. And you inspired each and every one of us to live in optimism, to live out loud, to live fully…and to live in awe, even in your final act of life. You were a role model and hero to so many.  You loved hard, Mom, and, my God, how we loved you back.  Bravo, Mama, on a life beautifully lived.